Di's little diddies

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of Montreal, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of Montreal and crossed the street to the CIBC. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Montreal
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a CIBC deposit slip or go back to Bank of Montreal. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of Montreal.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway

I don't think that I am better then anyone else and I hope if I ever start acting that way that one of my friends (all two of you) would tell me. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting nice things, house, cars, a private school for your kid, but some people carry it to far. If I lived with my parents (one who sounds like he doesn't even care for me and the other who tries to run my life), I would not come to work and act like I was all that. I am trying to be nice because I really feel sorry for this person. Lets just call her UGLY BETTY,although she isn't really ugly. She is kinda pretty until she opens that mouth and stupid comes out.Poor thing has to work three jobs to keep up with this lifestyle(living with parents). It don't sound like she has a life. Her idea of having fun was going to our high school football game with her 5 year old son (from I don't know where) and a retarded student from work. Now thats ok every now and again, but every week. Ok maybe I know why she doesn't have a boyfriend. Her friend is trying to fix her up with a guy who is working on her friends house. Now I think that she thinks this guy is not up to her standards. Now come on, he's only a painter! I think he has his own business but I'm not sure. But she has made every excuse why she don't want to go out with him. First, he's to skinny, he's not that cute, he's a smoker, her face is broke out.I'm sure he wouldn't be able to lavish her in the lifestyle she is used to.(living with her parents). Forget that he might be a really nice guy, he might really be good to her kid (which is what this kid needs badly, a guy in his life). Like yesterday when we get back to our room with DB. She is so worried about her hair and makeup because it was so windy outside and blew her hair all over her head.Now its the end of the workday so who cares what it looks like now, right? Oh no, I have to pick up my son at his private school and the "rich parents" will see me. Oh my! I said who gives a shit? Why do you care what they think? She said, "Oh but I do care". I told her one day she will see that what people think don't mean diddly squat. Now I know why she is divorced, her husband couldn't stand being married to her and her mother! Ok now I feel better. Lisa, you were right, I did have a lot to say!

We have a nut that works with us. We call her "crazy"! Why you ask, maybe you didn't but I'll tell you anyway. She has her nose into everything. If someone lets a fart she has to know WHO did it or what for or why? Plus she is crazy! She thinks she has a boyfriend (we don't), she thinks people likes her(we don't) and so on. So I am in the lead chase(all alone I might add) with Demon Boy. Where every body else is I have no clue. I am the one with the bad knees and I'm keeping up with Demon Boy. What the @#$%? Oh, I need to back up and tell you we carry walkie-talkies for emergencies just like this one. Well my friend Kim is trying to find out where we are (me and DB)and I am trying to run and catch up to him and keep him from mowing over other students.So I tell her and she is trying to hear me over all the commotion. But in all the confusion she can't hear me.She is even hollering "Where the hell are you" and she don't usually curse.Ha! Ha! This is where it gets good. By this time I have DB under control and walking to the football field (oh yea he still thinks he going to the football game and who am I to tell him no).I hear YELLING coming from the walkie-talkie and I can't really tell who or what it is, much less what they are saying, so I ignore it. Anyway we get to the field and get DB settled in. Others have caught up except Kim and "crazy". You guessed it,somehow "crazy" got hold of the walkie-talkie and was YELLING trying to find me and DB. Now "crazy" knows nothng of this kid nor him of her.(Except he kbows that she's crazier than he is)By the time Kim and "crazy" gets down there, she (crazy) feels "faint" WAH! I know you think I am mean, but I'm not. She sits on the ground on top of my feet and leans against my legs. Now did I tell her to? No, as a matter of fact I ask her in between her feeling as if she's blacking out, in, out, if she were comfortable sitting on my feet. The nurse gets there and checks her pulse and kind of looks at her like there really is not anything wrong. Oh and one of the other dingbats(can you guess who?) that works with us is sitting in front of her asking her if she should call 911. Duh "crazy" don't know.This is coming from a person who supposedly has a heart condition but if she passes out at work, we are suppose to try and track her dad down to see what he thinks we should do. Now here is my thought on this. If I had a heart condition, I would not be chasing anyone or screaming on a walkie-talkie. But this heart condition might be like her boyfriend. We don't have evidence of that either. Now I'm not saying she has to die to prove she has a heart condition but...............just kidding. Well she was well enough to go back in the building so she could be the first to tell of our fiasco (for lack of a better word) before anyone else could tell the story. When I finally get back inside several teachers ask me if I found the "lost boy". Lost, my ass,lost was one thing he never was. All you had to do was follow the path of distruction he left. Ok I'm really tired tonight but tomorrow I have a whole other person I want to talk about. This one is really starting to piss me off almost as much as 'crazy"

What a day! This might be an understatement. Let me just say that when one of our colleuges(?) is off, it really makes a biggggggggggggg difference. Well, except with the exception of one or two. When those certain few are out, we don't even know it until the next day when they tell us. But today we had the three that holds the rest of us together either off or in a meeting with the parent from HELL! After today, I think I am retiring.I think I can make a fine living on $300 a month social security My other friend, Kim already put her resignation in. We have this certain child, we'll call him "Spanky" for obvious reasons.But maybe after today, Demon Boy would be a better name for him. Actually, the day was going fairly smooth because no demands were being put on him. You see he is Autistic and has Downs Syndrome so I'm sure he can't help all of his behavior but,some of it I think he can. We were told by his former teacher (who I'm not sure of her motives yet) that this kid "loves" pep assembly's. Well I'm not sure about this Autistic kid, but most of them hates alot of noise. Yea you guessed it, he went berserk, jumped right off the deep end, went postal to say the least. It's a good thing he didn't have a gun. Or maybe he was just pissed cause the seniors won spirit week. (He's not a senior). He took off running pushing or beating anything that got in his way. I felt really sorry for the other "normal" kids. This one poor girl got hit so hard it knocked the wind out of her, she was crying. Of course everyone that was with me is scared of him. But me being the nut that I am, I chase him so he won't run out of the building and into the street and beat up a car.Anyway.........................................